Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Spamming for dollars

I received some spam an unsolicited e-mail in my inbox the other day from someone named J. Connor Alexander wanting to write blog posts for me. According to the e-mail, Mr. Alexander has experience writing "snappy" SEO-friendly blogposts and would be more than happy to do the same for me.

Funny, though, that his resume makes no mention of any marketing or SEO jobs.

He also wrote...
In the short time I’ve worked in the legal community I’ve come to understand just how important internet referrals can be to a firm’s bottom line. I’ve seen firsthand several firms start and then tire of their efforts to create and sustain a blog. In short order the business of running the firm invariably takes precedence over the blog. As a result, updates become sporadic and the firm’s web presence diminishes. That’s where I hope to come in. I’d love to see to it that every day/week/month you have a new, engaging, topical, search engine optimized post waiting to be published.
How short a time you may ask? How about he graduated from law school this past May. According to his resume he worked one summer as a clerk during law school and two summers as an undergrad. But in that time he's made these startling discoveries. Hmm. I wonder if Brian Tannebaum would like to take a run at him.

Of course when I googled the good Mr. Alexander I found a blog - that hadn't been updated in nearly a year. Is that the kind of hard work and dedication I should expect from him?

The two blog posts he submitted as samples of his work were, how shall I say, pure drek. They read as though they had been taken straight out of a newspaper article and offered no insight - just a regurgitation of someone else's work. He did, however, make sure he included the dreaded call to action paragraph and tried to fit in those precious key search terms whenever possible. The sad thing is he claims the posts were actually published in someone's blog. Egads.

But, then, I'm just a criminal defense attorney - what the hell do I know about this fancy marketing stuff he's trying to sell? I do know that blogs written solely for SEO or marketing purposes are doomed to failure. There's only so many ways you can cram your own key search terms into a blog post. With nothing else to say, what's the freaking point in pounding away at a computer keyboard when you could be playing Angry Birds?

In short, Mr. Alexander, I think I will have to turn down your offer of assistance. You see, I don't crank out blogposts crammed full of key search terms. I don't regurgitate articles in the local newspaper. I write about what I care about and what I find interesting.

So, good luck with your search, I'm sure you'll find some willing victims suckers attorneys willing to part with their cash for the promise of internet gold.

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