More potted meat

A while back I had a frequent commenter ask me why I required people to type the squiggly letters in a box in order to leave a comment because it looked like I published every comment.

The truth is I don't publish every comment. I will publish both positive and negative comments from readers. I have no problem accepting criticism. If I didn't want criticism I wouldn't use this forum to express my opinions.

What I don't publish are the scores of spam comments I get on a regular basis. They are quite insipid and I don't feel I should allow this blawg to be the vehicle for their attempts to game Google.

Here's one such comment I received:

What i don't realize is in fact how you're not really a lot more smartly-favored than you might be right now. You're so intelligent. You realize thus significantly when it comes to this matter, produced me in my opinion imagine it from so many numerous angles. Its like men and women aren't fascinated except it is one thing to do with Woman gaga! Your personal stuffs outstanding. All the time take care of it up.

There was a link for some kind of women's boots at the end of the comment and "Roger B. Ferguson" tried to post it in response to my post on the DA's citizen  propaganda prosecutor academy up in Dallas. To this day I have no idea what it's supposed to mean.

Then there was this:

It is appropriate time to make some plans for the future and It is time to be happy. I've read this post and if I could I want to suggest you few interesting things or advice. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article. I want to read more things about it!

Call me silly but I'm not thinking "Sarah P. Gavin" is really her name. She wanted to put up a link to some silver jewelry site on my post about the new French law making it a crime to deny that Turkey committed genocide in the aftermath of World War I.

"Robert Ducket" left me this special comment on my post about the price Pat Lykos was paying for thinking outside the box when it came to drug cases and DWI's:

Lawyer make solution of country court cases and save peoples from jail prisoning. Crime control is need of society that with peoples satisfaction too.

I would suggest that the Toronto law firm that hired someone to post the spam comment would at least take a look at the crap their marketer is spewing on the internet. It really doesn't inspire confidence. Y'all might want to ask your SEO rep to bone up on his English grammar before the next wave of spam goes out.

And, just to show that there is a certain irony to life, I leave you with this comment from a DWI lawyer out in California:

Excellent information provide for us.....................

It was a comment to, appropriately enough, a post about spamming.

Spamming for dollars

Occasionally I receive an e-mail or a comment from some spammer wanting to write a guest post for this blog. Now there's not much chance of that ever happening. Though I will be more than happy to run Mike Anderson's answers to the questions I posed him last month. I get the feeling that won't be happening, either.

Last week, however, I received an e-mail from an attorney in San Antonio who was willing to pay $15 if I would allow him to write a guest post that linked back to his website. Or I could post a small banner ad for the princely sum of $40 a year. My curiosity was stoked.

Hi,
 I'd like to inquire about doing a sponsored blog post - about 150-300 words that talks a little bit about DUI law and links back to our site http://www.michaelpackar dlaw(dot)com.We provide DUII, criminal defense, and immigration Attorney Services and thought we might be a good fit for your readers/visitors on http://kennedy-law.blogspot.com 
Here's a list of some blog post titles we've done in the past:
- San Antonio Attorneys Can Help Your Criminal Case
- How a DUI Attorney Can Save Your Life
- Reasons Why You Need A Immigration Attorney
 Our budget is around $15 for the post. Is this something you'd be open to?
Also we might be interested in a small banner ad if the price is right.
Our budget is $40/year - something like this:
http://postim age(dot)org/image/ltpbrr70t/

Let me know if you'd be open to either or both of these.
 Also if you have some other sites just send them over and we might be interested in doing a sponsored post on there as well!
 
Regards,
 Phil
MichaelPackar dLaw(dot)com

But, interestingly enough, when I typed those article names in Google, I got nada. That's right, nothing. Come on, Phil, how could I possibly agree to post one of your articles if I can't even find them on the internet?

So then I went to the website - and scrolled down to the bottom. And there I found it -- LexisNexis. Now it was off to LN's marketing site - Lawyers.com for a little more information. And there I found an article about DWI and prescription drugs. Unfortunately the article was just a quick summation of the law and a call to action. But that was the only posting and it was from back in September of 2011.

Over at Mr. Packard's firm, the lawyers are "devoted" to your case - and they are dedicated to providing compassionate legal services.

There was also this nugget, courtesy of LN:

We at The Packard Law Firm are passionate about getting favorable results for our clients. We prepare and deliver persuasive arguments on their behalf and strong rebuttals to points raised by the opposition. We know the stakes are high for you, and we make every effort to deliver your best case to the judge and jury.

And, you see, that's what makes them different. They are willing to pay LexisNexis a good chunk of change to create their website and fill it with the literary equivalent of drool. I don't know who Phil is - I'm not sure if he's an employee of the firm or a shill for LN, but he's got a hell of a lot of nerve. Why on earth would I agree to let someone write a guest post for my blog who doesn't even have a blog of their own? Why would I agree to let someone do it who can't show me one decent example of what he can write?

I would like to think that Mr. Packard is a good attorney who will do what it takes to ensure his clients get the representation they deserve. I would like to hope that Mr. Packard was sold a bill of goods by the local LN rep. I don't know if he knows what his marketers are doing to promote his "brand," but I hope he realizes that he's responsible for everything they do in his name - whether he knows about it or not.

Chasing down SEO rabbitholes

This is probably the most amazing blogs Ive study inside of a really extended time. The level of information in here is stunning!

That was the comment. It was submitted by someone named "Bose." The piss poor grammar and spamishness sparked my curiosity. Who was the spammer?

There wasn't much to go on when I clicked on Bose's blogspot user profile. Just a link to something called ArticleCity(dot)com. And just what is ArticleCity, you may ask. It's your "one-stop" shop for free articles to put in your online newsletter or e-mail spam.

Welcome to ArticleCity(dot)com - your one-stop source for free articles. Do you need content to add to your web site? Or articles for use on your opt-in newsletters and e-zines? ArticleCity.com maintains a huge collection of articles on a wide variety subjects. 

So I scrolled down to the legal articles and found one about when you need to hire a DUI lawyer. The article was a tangled mess of poor grammar and viewpoints. Here's an excerpt:

DUI (Driving under the influence) of alcohol or drugs is considered to be a serious offense as it is the greatest cause of criminal injury and death. The drugs that are taken into account include tranquilizers, opiates, amphetamines, cocaine and marijuana. When the driver has a blood alcohol level of 0.08% or higher then in that case that person is guilty of the offense. Drivers who drink and drive not only put their life in danger but also of the people around them. They think that after drinking they can control their driving without caring about the consequences like they might get caught by the police or they might get involved in an accident. They also have to face severe legal consequences such as their license may be suspended or they might be placed in jail and fined substantial fees.

We are then told that if you are arrested for DUI then you will need a lawyer who's "highly experienced and skilled," "highly skilled and efficient," "expert," "qualified," , "reliable," "right" and "proficient." I think he got in all the SEO-friendly keywords in that paragraph.

Our author ends with this caution:

Some lawyers offer free consultation to their clients. An initial consultation with your DUI lawyer helps you in deciding whether you want to work with them or not. Ensure the upfront fee and payment options. Therefore in order to save yourself from such kind of punishments it is advisable not to indulge in these type of things as it might be considered a crime and in case if you get involved in this type of situation then hiring an expert DUI lawyer can be the best solution.

Now we can all nitpick the article to death but that would be like shooting fish in a barrel. The article was written by someone named Sukhmannjot who provided a link in the author box to the Abreu Law Firm in Miami.

Abreu law firm Attorney Miami able to handle Criminal Lawyer Miami cases in either state or federal court.

I don't know if our friend Sukmannjot is an employee of the Abreu Law Firm or if he just works for some SEO company that posts spam comments and poorly written articles on websites. Whichever the case may be, I would suggest that Mr. Abreu keep closer tabs on those he uses to market his firm.

Spamming for dollars

I received some spam an unsolicited e-mail in my inbox the other day from someone named J. Connor Alexander wanting to write blog posts for me. According to the e-mail, Mr. Alexander has experience writing "snappy" SEO-friendly blogposts and would be more than happy to do the same for me.

Funny, though, that his resume makes no mention of any marketing or SEO jobs.

He also wrote...

In the short time I’ve worked in the legal community I’ve come to understand just how important internet referrals can be to a firm’s bottom line. I’ve seen firsthand several firms start and then tire of their efforts to create and sustain a blog. In short order the business of running the firm invariably takes precedence over the blog. As a result, updates become sporadic and the firm’s web presence diminishes. That’s where I hope to come in. I’d love to see to it that every day/week/month you have a new, engaging, topical, search engine optimized post waiting to be published.

How short a time you may ask? How about he graduated from law school this past May. According to his resume he worked one summer as a clerk during law school and two summers as an undergrad. But in that time he's made these startling discoveries. Hmm. I wonder if Brian Tannebaum would like to take a run at him.

Of course when I googled the good Mr. Alexander I found a blog - that hadn't been updated in nearly a year. Is that the kind of hard work and dedication I should expect from him?

The two blog posts he submitted as samples of his work were, how shall I say, pure drek. They read as though they had been taken straight out of a newspaper article and offered no insight - just a regurgitation of someone else's work. He did, however, make sure he included the dreaded call to action paragraph and tried to fit in those precious key search terms whenever possible. The sad thing is he claims the posts were actually published in someone's blog. Egads.

But, then, I'm just a criminal defense attorney - what the hell do I know about this fancy marketing stuff he's trying to sell? I do know that blogs written solely for SEO or marketing purposes are doomed to failure. There's only so many ways you can cram your own key search terms into a blog post. With nothing else to say, what's the freaking point in pounding away at a computer keyboard when you could be playing Angry Birds?

In short, Mr. Alexander, I think I will have to turn down your offer of assistance. You see, I don't crank out blogposts crammed full of key search terms. I don't regurgitate articles in the local newspaper. I write about what I care about and what I find interesting.

So, good luck with your search, I'm sure you'll find some willing victims suckers attorneys willing to part with their cash for the promise of internet gold.

Sex, lies and SEO

Just who is Jay Smith and why is sending me spam?

Hi Paul, We just posted an article, “10 Modern Criminals Who’ve Made a Killing”, I thought I'd drop a quick line and let you know in case you thought it was something your audience would be interested in reading. (http://www.criminaljusticedegreesguide.com/features/10-modern-criminals-whove-made-a-killing.html) 
Thanks!Jay Smith

When I typed in the URL at whois.net, this is what I got:

WHOIS information for criminaljusticedegreesguide.com :

[Querying whois.verisign-grs.com]
[Redirected to whois.networksolutions.com]
[Querying whois.networksolutions.com]
[whois.networksolutions.com]
Welcome to the Network Solutions(R) Registrar WHOIS Server.

The IP address from which you have visited the Network Solutions Registrar WHOIS
database is contained within a list of IP addresses that may have failed
to abide by Network Solutions' WHOIS policy.  Failure to abide by this policy can
adversely impact our systems and servers, preventing the processing of
other WHOIS requests.

To see the Network Solutions WHOIS Policy, click on or copy and paste the following
URL into your browser:

http://www.networksolutions.com/whois/index.jhtml

If you feel that you have received this message in error, please email us using the online
form at http://www.networksolutions.com/help/email.jsp with the following information:

Whois Query: criminaljusticedegreesguide.com
YOUR IP address is 198.171.79.36
Date and Time of Query: Thu Jul 28 19:24:48 EDT 2011
Reason Code: IE

My next step was whois.domaintools.com. Here's what turned up:

Registrant:
Mavens, LLC, Career
   ATTN CRIMINALJUSTICEDEGREESGUIDE.COM
   care of Network Solutions
   PO Box 459
   Drums, PA.  US  18222
   
   Domain Name: CRIMINALJUSTICEDEGREESGUIDE.COM

   Administrative Contact, Technical Contact:
      Mavens, LLC, Career                
      ATTN CRIMINALJUSTICEDEGREESGUIDE.COM
      care of Network Solutions
      PO Box 459
      Drums, PA 18222
      US
      570-708-8780
      
   Record expires on 04-May-2013.
   Record created on 25-Sep-2008.

   Domain servers in listed order:

   NS1.HOSTMONSTER.COM          74.220.195.131
   NS2.HOSTMONSTER.COM          69.89.16.

According to aboutus.org, the site is located in Canada and the contact entity is NetVision. On the NetVision site are links to a host of worthless sites with the option to view the site in Dutch.

The website promotes itself as a guide to finding careers in criminal justice. But no matter which career you decide you are interested in, the same three schools are featured: Saint Leo University, American Intercontinental University and Arizona State University. Both SLU and AIU are online schools offering associate's degrees.

So, Jay, I'm sorry, but I have no interest in linking to your website, your article or anything else you're peddling.

Chasing down rabbit holes

Here's the latest piece of SEO drivel I received in my inbox...

My name is Courtney Lloyd and I was wondering if you are interested in exchange links, I'll place your link on my sites exactly here: 

adverjeux(dot)com PR1aaliteraryreview(dot)com  PR1whiplash-claims.law2day(dot)net 

If you agree please send me your site details:
Title:Url:

I'll place your link in less than 24 hours, then I'll send you an email with my info.

Of course my first thought was "what the hell is an adverjeux and what does it have to do with criminal defense?" Curiosity got the better of me so I typed in the URL and went surfing (while taking a break from trial prep).

In the event you find yourself in need of a criminal defense attorney, the site has some advice for you (here's some advice -- study your grammar)... 

Finding a criminal lawyer is the most important initial step to greatly improve your chances of dealing with litigations. No one understands the importance of an experienced criminal defense attorney more than a person on the brink of being punished for a crime he or she never committed. However, finding a criminal lawyer is equally as challenging as the court trial. It is imperative to know the best ways to find an experienced criminal defense attorney with a winning record for every case he or she takes.

There are several ways of finding a criminal defense attorney and one of these is advertisements in the newspaper, especially in the classified section where contact details are given. Be sure the attorneys you are considering specialize in criminal defense. There are also directories that can provide you with a generic list of lawyers and legal firms though shortlisting the best ones in such a scenario can be difficult. If you have a legal advisor, you may opt to ask for a reference or you can ask any lawyer you know about finding an experienced criminal lawyer.

There is, as you can probably surmise, more tortured advice on what to do after you've been arrested. Lucky for the unsuspecting reader, if you've been charged with DWI the site offers some specific advice to you... 

It can be quite essential for you to realize that distinct kinds of legal circumstances that need distinct form of treatment. For that reason, be sure that the legal representative you might be hiring has all of the qualifications required to deal with the particular legal case you might be caught in. As an example, it can be constantly prudent to hire a legal representative specializing in such circumstances instead of hiring just a legal professional who’s Jack-of-all-trades. The attorney you pick should have a thorough understanding of all of the aspects connected having a DWI case, which could incorporate sobriety tests, blood alcohol limits, toxicology, psychology, and a lot more...

A criminal defense attorney typically charges a whole lot much more in comparison to a public defender, however it is constantly worth spending that a lot. The basic reason is that they’re professional legal professionals who’ve specialization in handling DWI circumstances. If you hire them to deal with your case, you just maximize your chances of winning the judgment within your favor.

And who knew a public defender could bill you for his or her services? Mr. Bunin might want to look into this should the Harris County Commissioners' Court want to whack his budget after the grant money runs out. (And no, that's not a shot at the office.)

Just who is behind this sage advice for our friends in need of legal representation? That would be Mr. Henry Stremadoiro of New York. Mr. Stremadoiro is, if you haven't guessed, a peddler of SEO services to folks who don't know any better.

Having gone this far, I couldn't just leave it hanging. I had to know more about Mr. Stremadoiro and his operation. His email address domain was seo.pe so into Google that went. And out came one of the weirdest names for a company I've seen recently -- Capybara. Why is that weird, you ask.

The Capybara is the world's largest rodent. Coincidence? Hmmmm...

Needless to say, Capybara is not based in the US. It's a Peruvian company (hence the ".pe" appended to the domain).

I will leave you with the funniest quote from the Capybara site:

My website isn't written in English. Can you optimize it?
Probably. We'll show you a full list of the languages we can optimize in when you request quotes.

(You see, that's okay because we don't write in English.)

Seeking link exchanges

I recently received the following e-mail (no link love, though)...

Paul,
I recently emailed you about exchanging links on your blogroll. I have the following three blogs that support my law practice. 

www.criminallawyerillinois.com
www.illinioisdui.us
www.federalcriminallawyer.us 

Can we exchange links?
Lewis Gainor

No, Mr. Gainor, we cannot exchange links at this time. You see, the blawgs I link to my blawgroll are blawgs that I read on a regular (okay, in some cases, semi-regular) basis. There was no quid pro quo in my linking to them. If the authors responsible for them found my blawg interesting then they were free to link to my blawg. I never emailed anyone asking them for a link exchange. I've also never taken down a link because someone didn't "return the favor."

The blawgosphere is a fairly liquid place. New blawgs come and go on a regular basis. Some folks start a blawg because they have something to say. Others start a blawg because some SEO person told them it was a great way to move their website to the front page of Google or Yahoo! or Bing.

The ones who did it for SEO are pretty easy to spot. Their posts are "keyword rich" and recite the law regarding the classifications of crimes and field sobriety tests. Those blawgs are rarely updated and soon fall into a state of disrepair when the author realizes he has nothing else to say.

On the other hand, the blawgs written by folks who have something to say are interesting and diverse. They are serious and funny. They make you laugh and they make you think. They tell stories. They make analogies. They don't have every possible keyword crammed awkwardly into their posts. They aren't forced.

Lewis, you are more than welcome to link to my blawg. If you want me to link to your blawg, on the other hand, you need to give me a reason why. Stop writing the SEO-style posts. Stop cramming the articles with keywords. Stop trying to sell someone something in every post. Tell a story. Put up a funny picture. Find your point of view and express it.

Don't blawg because you want more "link juice." Blawg because you enjoy sitting down and writing. I'll drop back by your blawg in a while. If I find it more interesting, then I may link to it.

Good luck. In the meantime, check out the following blawgs:

• Defending People
• Simple Justice
• Criminal Defense Blog
• Life at the Harris County Criminal Justice Center
• A Public Defender
• Probable Cause

Potted meat, anyone?

This is the text of an e-mail I received last week requesting some link juice. I have cut the back-links in order to punish the guilty.

Dear Webmaster,

My name is Brady Russ and I handle the online marketing for a network of related web sites. I am emailing to express my interest in adding your link to my site and getting a link back to my site from your site.

If I have made a mistake by sending this to the wrong address, you do not have to respond; I will remove your email from my mailing list if I fail to receive a reply.

For your convenience, your link is already posted at www.onemortgageloan.net/traffic-school-prices.php. If you are unable to click the link please Copy & Paste it instead.

Please use the following linking details when adding my link to your site:

URL: http://www.pasoinsurance.com

Title: Affordable Car Insurance

Description: Car insurance instant gratification, courtesy of Paso Auto Insurance.

If you would like to take advantage of this opportunity and keep your link up on my site, add my link and then reply to this email with the url where you have added a link to my site. If you are not interested there is no need to reply. I will remove your link along with your email address.

Thank you for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you!

Brady Russ 

www.onemortgageloan.net

I sent you this email because I found, from researching your site, that your email manages these requests. If I made an error, please respond to this address: unsubscribe@onemortgageloan.net, and your email-address will be removed from the network within 2 business days. 

"A network of related web sites?" Really? I struggle to find a relevant link between my website and a website hawking auto insurance. Okay, maybe they offer SR-22's for drivers who are required to obtain one due to a license suspension. Nope. Nothing about SR-22 coverage on their website.


And I just flat out give up trying to figure out a link between a mortgage lender and a criminal defense attorney and how such a link would benefit either one of us.

To the top of the page we go

"Sir, we can put you on the top of Page 1 for Google, Yahoo!, Bing and any other search engine out there."

"I'm game. What do I need to do?"

"The first thing I want you to do is start up a Twitter page. We'll come up with a catchy screen name and start posting updates."

"Twitter? Are you sure?"

"Positive. Hey, I'm a social media/SEO/networking/coaching expert. You can check out my Twitter profile and that's what it'll tell you."

"You're the expert around here. I'm listening."

"What kind of cases do you handle?"

"All kinds of criminal cases, though we like to focus on DWI's."

"You could update your Twitter page with news about your DWI practice."

"That's a great idea. We just brought in a new guy about a year ago from down South who has a lot of experience in DWI cases. His name's Warren. Perhaps you've heard of him?"

"No, can't say I have."

"What kind of catchy screen name would you propose?"

"Something's that SEO-friendly and key word rich. How about @MontgomeryTXDAO? A lot of DWI updates with that handle and that should drive your website right to the top of the rankings."

"What kind of updates should I do?"

"Oh, hell, why not just list the names of every sucker y'all arrest for drunk driving?"

"Man, that's a great idea. I don't know why we didn't think of that. What else should we do to get to the top of the page?"

"Hmmm. I know, leave comments on lots and lots of blogs."

"What kind of comments should I leave? You know I don't have a lot of time to read blogs. I've got to keep a tight rein on my associates. I can't be letting any of that nasty, exculpatory stuff to get into the hands of those defense attorneys."

"Don't worry about reading blogs. Just put something like 'Really enjoyed reading your blog. Blogs can be so informative.' And be sure to link it back to your website. Google loves that kind of thing."

"I can't tell you how happy I am that you called today. I'm certain we can get to the top of Page 1 with your strategies."

"Hey, I guarantee you that by the time we're done, whenever someone types in the words 'Montgomery County District Attorney,' your website will be the first one they see."

And what do you think of the emperor's new clothes?

About once a week I get a phone call from someone with some firm that does search engine optimization -- whatever that is. Everyone of these folks tells me they can get my website to the top of Google or Yahoo! They all tell me they represent a handful of other attorneys in Houston that are already on top.

The fun comes when I ask them just how they plan on getting my website to the top of the search engine rankings. They can never answer the question. They give me some gobbledy-gook about optimizing this and leveraging that and that they will have me at the top within a week or two.

Then I ask them how their other clients (some of whom I always know) would feel about them promising to put someone else on top of the rankings. I mean, if you're telling me you can put my website on top, I'm sure you told the same thing to the attorneys you signed up. That doesn't sound too ethical to me.

As an attorney all you really have is your reputation -- harm that reputation and you harm your ability to stay in business. Do you really want firms that act in such an unethical manner representing you to all the world? Do you really want those firms to post content under your name?