Monday, July 18, 2011

Chasing down rabbit holes

Here's the latest piece of SEO drivel I received in my inbox...

My name is Courtney Lloyd and I was wondering if you are interested in exchange links, I'll place your link on my sites exactly here: 
adverjeux(dot)com PR1aaliteraryreview(dot)com  PR1whiplash-claims.law2day(dot)net 
If you agree please send me your site details:
I'll place your link in less than 24 hours, then I'll send you an email with my info.
Of course my first thought was "what the hell is an adverjeux and what does it have to do with criminal defense?" Curiosity got the better of me so I typed in the URL and went surfing (while taking a break from trial prep).

In the event you find yourself in need of a criminal defense attorney, the site has some advice for you (here's some advice -- study your grammar)... 

Finding a criminal lawyer is the most important initial step to greatly improve your chances of dealing with litigations. No one understands the importance of an experienced criminal defense attorney more than a person on the brink of being punished for a crime he or she never committed. However, finding a criminal lawyer is equally as challenging as the court trial. It is imperative to know the best ways to find an experienced criminal defense attorney with a winning record for every case he or she takes.
There are several ways of finding a criminal defense attorney and one of these is advertisements in the newspaper, especially in the classified section where contact details are given. Be sure the attorneys you are considering specialize in criminal defense. There are also directories that can provide you with a generic list of lawyers and legal firms though shortlisting the best ones in such a scenario can be difficult. If you have a legal advisor, you may opt to ask for a reference or you can ask any lawyer you know about finding an experienced criminal lawyer.

There is, as you can probably surmise, more tortured advice on what to do after you've been arrested. Lucky for the unsuspecting reader, if you've been charged with DWI the site offers some specific advice to you... 

It can be quite essential for you to realize that distinct kinds of legal circumstances that need distinct form of treatment. For that reason, be sure that the legal representative you might be hiring has all of the qualifications required to deal with the particular legal case you might be caught in. As an example, it can be constantly prudent to hire a legal representative specializing in such circumstances instead of hiring just a legal professional who’s Jack-of-all-trades. The attorney you pick should have a thorough understanding of all of the aspects connected having a DWI case, which could incorporate sobriety tests, blood alcohol limits, toxicology, psychology, and a lot more...
A criminal defense attorney typically charges a whole lot much more in comparison to a public defender, however it is constantly worth spending that a lot. The basic reason is that they’re professional legal professionals who’ve specialization in handling DWI circumstances. If you hire them to deal with your case, you just maximize your chances of winning the judgment within your favor.

And who knew a public defender could bill you for his or her services? Mr. Bunin might want to look into this should the Harris County Commissioners' Court want to whack his budget after the grant money runs out. (And no, that's not a shot at the office.)

Just who is behind this sage advice for our friends in need of legal representation? That would be Mr. Henry Stremadoiro of New York. Mr. Stremadoiro is, if you haven't guessed, a peddler of SEO services to folks who don't know any better.

Having gone this far, I couldn't just leave it hanging. I had to know more about Mr. Stremadoiro and his operation. His email address domain was so into Google that went. And out came one of the weirdest names for a company I've seen recently -- Capybara. Why is that weird, you ask.

The Capybara is the world's largest rodent. Coincidence? Hmmmm...

Needless to say, Capybara is not based in the US. It's a Peruvian company (hence the ".pe" appended to the domain).

I will leave you with the funniest quote from the Capybara site:

My website isn't written in English. Can you optimize it?
Probably. We'll show you a full list of the languages we can optimize in when you request quotes.

(You see, that's okay because we don't write in English.)

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