"Sir, we can put you on the top of Page 1 for Google, Yahoo!, Bing and any other search engine out there."
"I'm game. What do I need to do?"
"The first thing I want you to do is start up a Twitter page. We'll come up with a catchy screen name and start posting updates."
"Twitter? Are you sure?"
"Positive. Hey, I'm a social media/SEO/networking/coaching expert. You can check out my Twitter profile and that's what it'll tell you."
"You're the expert around here. I'm listening."
"What kind of cases do you handle?"
"All kinds of criminal cases, though we like to focus on DWI's."
"You could update your Twitter page with news about your DWI practice."
"That's a great idea. We just brought in a new guy about a year ago from down South who has a lot of experience in DWI cases. His name's Warren. Perhaps you've heard of him?"
"No, can't say I have."
"What kind of catchy screen name would you propose?"
"Something's that SEO-friendly and key word rich. How about @MontgomeryTXDAO? A lot of DWI updates with that handle and that should drive your website right to the top of the rankings."
"What kind of updates should I do?"
"Oh, hell, why not just list the names of every sucker y'all arrest for drunk driving?"
"Man, that's a great idea. I don't know why we didn't think of that. What else should we do to get to the top of the page?"
"Hmmm. I know, leave comments on lots and lots of blogs."
"What kind of comments should I leave? You know I don't have a lot of time to read blogs. I've got to keep a tight rein on my associates. I can't be letting any of that nasty, exculpatory stuff to get into the hands of those defense attorneys."
"Don't worry about reading blogs. Just put something like 'Really enjoyed reading your blog. Blogs can be so informative.' And be sure to link it back to your website. Google loves that kind of thing."
"I can't tell you how happy I am that you called today. I'm certain we can get to the top of Page 1 with your strategies."
"Hey, I guarantee you that by the time we're done, whenever someone types in the words 'Montgomery County District Attorney,' your website will be the first one they see."