Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Four whom the bell tolls

The scene fades in... A lawyer walks into an unnamed courtroom on the 5th floor of the Civil Courthouse. He places his briefcase down on the table and looks down at his watch. It's a couple of minutes before 1pm.

Bailiff: What are you doing here?

Lawyer (looking puzzled): I have a hearing on an occupational license at 1pm.

Bailiff: There are no hearings today. The judge is gone.

Lawyer: At our last hearing she told us to be hear today -- and my client's license expires today.

Bailiff: You might want to go and talk to the clerk. She just left here a couple of minutes ago.

Scene fades out as lawyer leaves courtroom and heads toward the stairs.

The scene fades in...The lawyer is in the County Clerk's Office walking toward the unnamed courtroom's clerks' desks.

Lawyer (as soon as one of the clerks hangs up the phone): We've got a problem. The judge issued my client an occupational license and told us to appear in court at 1pm today. Now I'm being told she isn't here and my client's license expires today. What can we do?

Clerk No. 1 (with "deer in the headlights" look on her face looking toward the other clerk who is getting off the phone): This gentleman has a question for you.

Clerk No. 2: Can I help you?

Lawyer: Yes. The judge told my client and I to be here today so she could update his occupational license that expires today. But there is no judge.

Clerk No. 2: Sorry about that. You can come back next Monday.

Lawyer: Can we come in and see the judge one day this week?

Clerk No. 2: Nope. She only hears occupational licenses on Mondays. You want to come in next Monday?

Lawyer: Why didn't anyone notify me that the afternoon docket was being cancelled? We could have made other arrangements?

Clerk No. 2: You want to come in next Monday?

Scene fades out with lawyer banging his head against the top of the clerk's desk with Supertramp's "The Logical Song" playing as the screen blackens.

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